I don’t give a fuck
They done push me to the limit I’m all in
I was originally going to write a post about the various cliques and sub-cliques that operate at my job, but tonight changed all of that. As I walked to the bus stop on Sepulveda and Century, having left work early for the second night in a row due to it being slow, I finally felt in my heart that I no longer cared. I often say I don’t care, but I have reached that point where, paraphrasing the immortal words of Chris Rock, I am out of fucks to give.
I am not a perfect employee. Sometimes I show up late. I don’t follow all the rules. I lost what little respect I had for the authority. But nobody in their right mind can tell me that I’m not a capable and hard worker. That is not to say that I deserve special treatment, but it has to be said.
I don’t come to work to do nothing. I can do enough of nothing at home, and yet I get more accomplished at home than I do at work. The nature of the work I do and the environment that I work in isn’t exactly conducive to productivity. My job title has the least to do after a while, and working night shift, even the least is reduced, to the point where I’m grasping at straws for something to do, you know, showing that initiative that employers like. My employers don’t like initiative though, just blind adherence to their whims.
Most of my time is spent talking to coworkers. They don’t like that.
Hunting for a new job isn’t exactly a cake walk either.
Thankfully I’ve found things to keep me occupied and sane because I’ve lost my shit several times in the last year.
The point of this post is that I no longer care. This job doesn’t have the power I gave to it anymore. I have the power. I don’t need them as badly as I led myself to believe. They have no control over me or my life, because I refuse to continue to give it to them. They’ve stressed me out to the point of wanting to leave this life for good. I’m done. I just don’t give a fuck.