Dear Mr./Ms. Fuck Face McGee,
I’m interested in the job you’ve posted.
However, I don’t have any of the experience you’re looking for, nor the education. But I have balls. I’m a quick learner if you’re actually willing to train, or hell, give me a book to study. Help me help you. I don’t want to go back to customer service, those people are insane. And I keep getting pulled back in, it’s like Pookie from New Jack City, they keep calling me and calling me.
Anyway, just consider it. You might be surprised.