#InternetKilledtheVideoStar Vol. 8 – All The Things She Said

Bored Ambition is far from prudish. I definitely don’t shame kinks, unless you’re into kids or animals, those aren’t kinks, that is reprehensible and you deserve to burn in hellfire for three eternities.

With that being said, even now, I have limits. Back when this video came out though, I had even more.

t.A.T.u. was a duo out of Russia and they exploded on American shores with their 2002 video for “All The Things She Said.” Video aside, I fucks heavily with the song, and it was also dope that professional wrestler Victoria used it as her entrance theme when she debuted on the main roster in the WWE.

The video itself, however, whew, that was a fucking lot. The thing I was most worried about was someone walking in on me watching that video.

Upon a rewatch though, being older, more mature, I also can appreciate the story that the video is trying to tell, simple as it may be. We have a bunch of people standing behind a fence topped with barbed wire, umbrellas protecting them from the torrential downpour they just so happened to find themselves in. They take turns staring and jeering at the two band members who are basically being distressed about the crowd, professing their feelings to one another and making out in the rain. Towards the end of the video, it’s basically revealed that their audience are the ones trapped in a cage and the girls were atually able to take a short walk to freedom.

I’m not professing that it’s a very deep video, the message becomes a bit shallow in the wake of all the making out, but again, they tried.

Anyway, here it is.

The Mae Young Classic Classic Episodes 5-9

I finally watched the rest of this.

I’m taking that hiatus seriously.

I already tripped up and watched Monday Night RAW on Labor Day, but I wasn’t necessarily in control of the TV and it was fun to have my brother to shit on the product with.

This time around, spoilers weren’t so unavoidable, however the finals turned out exactly as I expected them to, and the winner was the woman I expected it to be, so was I really spoiled if I gave you prophecy on my first joint?

Let’s get with the opinions!

The Good

  •  Kairi Sane and Bianca BelAir was the match of episode 5. I can’t decide for episode 6 or 7. Kairi Sane versus Toni Storm takes it for episode 8.
  • Mercedes Martinez getting her due.
  • I’m surprised, but not too surprised, that Toni Storm won her semi-final match against Serena Deeb.
  • With that being said, the Strong Zero is a move. I’ll have to steal that for my fantasy wrestling move list. I looked up what it looks like outside the WWE and it’s a fucking piledriver.
  • Shayna Baszler vs. Mia Yim had a nice little sequence there after Shayna tweaked Mia’s ankle and started tossing her around.
  • That sleeper finish.
  • Dude yelling “Teach her how to wrestle!” to Mercedes during her match with Shayna Baszler.
  •  They cut Lilian Garcia a check?!

The Bad

  • Abbey Laith used that same move. I guess. I mean, it’s the second round, you gotta come harder.
  • I was also expecting Rachel Evans to win.
  • That they are already selling this Four Horsewomen MMA vs Four Horsewomen WWE. I’m just not that hype to see that. Really not very hyped to see Ronda Rousey in a full time capacity inside the wrestling ring.
  • Can we just sign Mia Yim?

 

Triple H The WWE did good with this tournament. I actually do hopes this becomes a yearly thing. I know there’s tons of female talent out there, newbies, veterans and everything in between and it would be nice to see them get even more shine by being seen on WWE, even if it’s just for a tournament. SHIMMER, Shine, Stardom and the various other promotions out there have been holding it down in women’s wrestling for quite a while, so for the WWE it’s more of a better late than never situation, and trust me, I lived through the Divas years. However, they’re trying. Granted, much of that is to attract a female audience because they have tremendous buying power I can give them just an iota of credit for that.

 

If you haven’t watched the inaugural Mae Young Classic yet, you can watch it for $9.99 per month on the WWE Network, who is not paying me for this advertising.   

The Mae Young Classic Episodes 1-4

I’ve been on a wrestling hiatus. I say wrestling  because although I’ve been actively avoiding WWE, there are five episodes of Lucha Underground that are sitting in my DVR, including the much anticipated bout between Rey Mysterio (who has slowly gotten back into my good graces) and Johnny Mundo (who has improved tremendously since leaving the WWE).

However, I made a promise that I would watch the WWE Women’s tournament back when they first announced it. The filming of the matches of what was eventually named the Mae Young Classic, named for one of the greatest old broads who ever old broaded, was done back in July and I miraculously avoided spoilers.

The first round of the tournament aired Monday, August 28th in four episodes that were posted to the WWE Network, and after giving up on Monday Night Raw after a few minutes, I decided to fulfill my promise to myself and watch the first round while it was still the topic of conversation and not wait like I am with quite a few other things.

I was not disappointed. Instead of reviewing all sixteen matches one by one, I’m just going to highlight the good and the bad of the opening round.

The Good

  • Humble brag time: I went to Wrestlemania 31 two years ago, and during that weekend me and my former podcasting partner also took in a few independent shows, including a SHIMMER Chick Fight Tournament. It’s amazing to see women that were on that show two years ago wrestling for the WWE and in this tournament. Mia Yim, Evie, Nicole Savoy, Candace LeRae, Kimber Lee and Kay Lee Ray all participated in the Chick Fight tournament, while Nikki Storm, Evie, Kimber Lee and Athena are all working in NXT and I’m sure that quite a few of the women in this tournament will be signed in the future. Speaking of Mia Yim…
  • Her match against Sarah Logan, the former Crazy Mary Dobson was the best match of the first round.
  • Kairi Sane is cute and I don’t say that to be offensive or to stereotype. That elbow is pretty vicious. A solid prediction that I made was that Kairi would be the one to stop Asuka’s reign on the NXT Women’s division, which meant that Asuka would hold on to that belt a hell of a long time, but we see how that turned out.
  • Good to see Serena Deeb. Sucks what happened to her back 2010 but I’m glad to see her cleaned up.
  • Lacey Evans was definitely giving me Liberty Belle vibes. Or did Liberty Belle get her vibes from Lacey Evans?
  • Jazzy Gabert ladies and gentlemen. Never seen this woman before in my life, I want to see her again.
  • Bianca BelAire is a beast.
  • I’m really happy to see that Women’s wrestling in the WWE has evolved.
  • Good to see Mercedes Martinez, I’ve been hearing about this woman for years. Which leads to an excellent point in…

The Bad.

  • The WWE could’ve hired a whole bunch of the women they probably considered for this tournament if they weren’t on that Divas bullshit 10+ years ago.
  • I like Marti Belle.  I have no quarrel with Rachel Ellering Evans. Their match was dry. Like chardonnay dry. And if you like chardonnay I can’t fuck with you.
  • Stephanie McMahon’s voice at the beginning of the show. All up in the videos….
  • I do not like Tessa Blanchard. Part of that may be because of Ricochet. Like maybe 35%. I know it’s none of my business. I can still hate.
  • Having to wait for the next few episodes.

Anyway, if you have yet to watch the tournament, you have a whole week to catch up before the second round airs Labor Day. The finals will be live in Las Vegas on September 12th, all on the WWE Network.

 

 

*Edited to mention the fabulous Kimber Lee, bka Abbey Laith who held her own against Jazzy Gabert. 

Wrestlemania: The Pilgrimage

I do a podcast. The reason I say this is because if you want to hear the particulars about my Wrestlemania trip, you can go to dominatewrestling.com and listen to it there.

Therefore, this blog isn’t going to be a recap of my Wrestlemania adventures. Far from it; instead, this will be a more introspective post (because I am introspective like a motherfucker). Wrestlemania gave me a new lease on life.

Continue reading “Wrestlemania: The Pilgrimage”